I found out that J's "non-girlfriend" has left her husband. And said husband was supposed looking for J, enough that common co-workers felt they needed to warn J. As long as none of this happens around the children, I really find this comical. All of his claims that they were not emotionally involved keep crashing down. The kids are complaining that every time they are with their dad, she is around. I think they are going to be pissed when they figure out that she is Dad's girlfriend, especially T as he will know that J was hanging around NG (non-girlfriend) before we broke up.
Maybe I'm slow on the uptake but I guess he has been looking for my replacement for some time. He had the incident with the email affair two years ago. I don't think he has conciously been looking for another woman but I think he gave up on us years ago. Sadly now I wonder if he ever really loved me or if I was just the safe available choice. I know that his POV is that if I had been a better wife, he wouldn't have been looking. I would counter that my performance as a wife was also a reflection as his as a husband.
What I am realizing is how alone I am in this world except for my family. I don't have friends in the area to speak of. And at my age I don't know how to make friends.
I'm a little sad but not devastated right now. Of course the first thing we have to do and he bring NG, it may not be as easy.
My attorney keeps promising me that I shouldn't have to pay a settlement on him. That is the one thing that I can't stand the thought of, that he will be paying almost nothing in child support and then the concept I might have to give him money.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
i'm not excusing him because, frankly, you should have left him years ago; HOWEVER, i don't think you should assume that he just 'gave up' on you or that he was lookng to replace you or didn't love you. i'm giving him the benefit of the out here (you can guess why) and just pointing out that there could have been a whole lot of issues at play with this that had everything to do with HIM and nothing (as it were) to do with YOU. this latest relationship may be classic rebound--who knows. you can't worry about it, t. you just can't--he's not worth upsetting yourself over it. and if he did start with her before you all were totally done, well, maybe that just made it easier for him to make up his mind. YOU ARE BETTER OFF. You do not need someone who makes you question your own self worth so much. you just don't. you need someone who will build you up and be a partner--not tear you down and be a burden.
as for this statement: 'my performance as a wife was also a reflection of his as a husband'...honey, you are fucking brilliant. i've been looking for a way to express that concept and couldn't put it into words.
go out, find a social group, go to church, do bingo, find a bar with trivia night or something. you can do this. i know you can. you just have to quit doubting yourself and your importance.
Post a Comment