This man is a genius. Simply a genius.
I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Today I was arrested for scalping low numbers at the deli. I sold a #3 for 28 bucks.
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.
I installed a skylight in my apartment.... The people who live above me are furious!
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. Then I filled my humidifier with wax, and now my room is all shiny.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Sunday, October 01, 2006
This does not belong in any sport
...when Titans defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth stomped on Dallas center Andre Gurode's face and was ejected. Gurode needed stitches above his left eye and didn't return because of blurry vision.
It was uncalled for and after going to both Cowboys' and Titans' fan forums, I'm glad to see that no one liked what happened. Apparently this guy is a known problem and for that I'm sorry for the Titans. I know what it is like to have well performing players who lack character. BTDT. The Titan fans have been very classy on the forums, unlike many years ago when another team's fans pelted players with snowballs packed with hard objects like batteries. Instead this is a problem isolated to a single guy who the new commissioner needs to take a very hard line.
Now he did do an apology in the post game wrap up.
DT ALBERT HAYNESWORTH
(on his hit on Andre Gurode)
First thing I’d like to say is, nobody told me what to say. Nobody coached me on my statement or anything like that. It’s all coming from me. What I’d like to say is I’m very sorry. I apologize to Andre. What I did was disgusting. It’s something that should never happen. I mean I’m not a dirty player. I don’t play dirty. I have respect for the game. What I feel like is I disgraced the game, disgraced my team and disgraced my last name. I just don’t know what else to say to apologize. When I was sitting in here in the locker room when the game was going on, I was looking at my phone, which has my kids on it. I don’t want them to have my last name and to think their Dad was a dirty player because I don’t play that way. I play with a lot of heart. What I did out there was disgusting. It doesn’t matter what the league does to me. The way I feel right now, you just can’t describe it.
Nice words but too bad he didn't think before he acted. The only good thing I can say is that he isn't whining that it is someone else's fault. The next mature step is to go to his coach and the NFL and offer his own punishment thoughts.
About TO and his latest week in the headlines... At first I was oh the poor drama queen. However after reading all that I have, I think the accidental OD is probably the truth. The police thought it looked like suicide, who knows what he was saying and what they were hearing and of course the press rushed it to the wires without much knowledge. But at the end of the day, he gave a solid performance just 2 weeks after hand surgery and he got physical out there, catching and throwing solid blocks. It is early dealing with him, but he isn't the first difficult player who has come to Dallas knowing this could be the last time someone was willing to take a chance. Some players have mended their ways and gave the fans what they wanted. Others couldn't be taught a lesson. Time will say which will be TO's time here.
And I'm hearing that Vanderjerk is not getting along with people in the lockerroom. Big surprise, right?
It was uncalled for and after going to both Cowboys' and Titans' fan forums, I'm glad to see that no one liked what happened. Apparently this guy is a known problem and for that I'm sorry for the Titans. I know what it is like to have well performing players who lack character. BTDT. The Titan fans have been very classy on the forums, unlike many years ago when another team's fans pelted players with snowballs packed with hard objects like batteries. Instead this is a problem isolated to a single guy who the new commissioner needs to take a very hard line.
Now he did do an apology in the post game wrap up.
DT ALBERT HAYNESWORTH
(on his hit on Andre Gurode)
First thing I’d like to say is, nobody told me what to say. Nobody coached me on my statement or anything like that. It’s all coming from me. What I’d like to say is I’m very sorry. I apologize to Andre. What I did was disgusting. It’s something that should never happen. I mean I’m not a dirty player. I don’t play dirty. I have respect for the game. What I feel like is I disgraced the game, disgraced my team and disgraced my last name. I just don’t know what else to say to apologize. When I was sitting in here in the locker room when the game was going on, I was looking at my phone, which has my kids on it. I don’t want them to have my last name and to think their Dad was a dirty player because I don’t play that way. I play with a lot of heart. What I did out there was disgusting. It doesn’t matter what the league does to me. The way I feel right now, you just can’t describe it.
Nice words but too bad he didn't think before he acted. The only good thing I can say is that he isn't whining that it is someone else's fault. The next mature step is to go to his coach and the NFL and offer his own punishment thoughts.
About TO and his latest week in the headlines... At first I was oh the poor drama queen. However after reading all that I have, I think the accidental OD is probably the truth. The police thought it looked like suicide, who knows what he was saying and what they were hearing and of course the press rushed it to the wires without much knowledge. But at the end of the day, he gave a solid performance just 2 weeks after hand surgery and he got physical out there, catching and throwing solid blocks. It is early dealing with him, but he isn't the first difficult player who has come to Dallas knowing this could be the last time someone was willing to take a chance. Some players have mended their ways and gave the fans what they wanted. Others couldn't be taught a lesson. Time will say which will be TO's time here.
And I'm hearing that Vanderjerk is not getting along with people in the lockerroom. Big surprise, right?
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